I can sleep now without running to the bathroom every hour or more. I can eat without feeling immediately sick. I can commute to work without having to make an emergency pit stop. I can move around and play with Z without having to lie down/run to the bathroom constantly.
My face is also getting puffy from the steroid. My appetite is getting out of control with cravings for fast food. I wake up every night sweating. I'm (more) irritable. Although I get plenty of sleep now, I still feel exhausted for no reason. Although it's less often now, going to the bathroom is still very painful and watery.
But really, I'd take the side effects of Prednisone any day over the symptoms of ulcerative colitis. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
I know that I'm in no physical position to do so for a while, but I still would like to have at least one more baby. If I am able to get into remission this time around, after tapering off the Prednisone, I might be able to stop the Imuran, and then talk to my doctor about the risks of pregnancy.
If I just continue to flare after the Prednisone, I may have to have a colectomy, which poses its own fertility issues. There would be a long recovery time after my colon is taken out. The creation of a faux "colon" by using my small intestine will leave scar tissue in my abdominal cavity, likely decreasing my fertility. It wouldn't make it impossible to have children, necessarily, but everyone is different.
Before I lost an early pregnancy nearly two months ago when I was so, so sick with this horrible flare, I think I took my fertility for granted. I was symptom-free when I was pregnant with Z. We had no problem getting and staying pregnant. Z was healthy and the pregnancy was "easy."
Now, the thought that I may never again be able to experience pregnancy or breastfeeding or snuggle my own newborn kind of sucks.
Having only one child isn't the end of the world, I know. Z is awesome. I guess I just always pictured myself with at least two.
Whatever happens, happens. Right now, my top priority is getting well again so I can be a better wife/mom/human.
Think positive thoughts ... like Easter egg hunts with Z.
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